So, at the end of my last blog I revealed that my wife was going in for her first scan at 8 weeks. Now an 8-week scan is usually done if your wife/partner has had miscarriage. We believed at the time that she would be just short of 9 weeks for the scan. In fact, my wife was just short of the 8-mark. 7 weeks and 4 days to be exact.
Why did we think we were closer to the 9-week mark? Well lads, you base how far a long your pregnancy is, in the early stages say pre-scan, from the first day of your wife/partners last period. Which is a bit strange in my opinion as for one my wife would not be ovulating straight away after her period so conception would happen maybe 2 weeks later. So, it made sense when were told that we were at 7 & half weeks.
Just something to bear in mind if your other half downloads one of these pregnancy apps which gives you a week to week update on the development of your baby. Things like "Your baby is the size of a blueberry" and "your babies' heart is starting to form and beating at 150 bpm".
Currently, our baby is the size of a green olive.
Right, back to the 8-week scan. As I mentioned previously, under the current Covid-19 restrictions, I am unable to attend any of the scans in the hospital. I thought I'd be ok with not attending but as soon as my wife left for CUMH (Cork University and Maternity Hospital) I was a bit gutted. I felt like I was missing out, which I was big time, and as I sat at home working I couldn't concentrate.
My focus wasn't on work but on my wife and the scan. She was messaging me as she waited to be called in for her appointment and then. Radio silence.
Thoughts run through your mind like "I hope everything is ok with the baby?", "I just want to know everything is going normal and the baby is healthy", "are they taking the right precautions inside with the current pandemic?", "How long does an ultra sound take?", "Will I get a picture?", "Is it big enough to see" etc. etc.
Now lads, all these are legitimate thoughts & fears heading in for your first scan I would imagine. So, take the time to acknowledge them lads, it's ok to be worried but then also take the time to clear your head and focus on being 'positive' and 'the positives'. I've found this helps me when the doomsday thoughts start rolling into my head.
But one thought that crossed my mind. Maybe you have, it did or it will too. What if my wife isn't actually pregnant?
What if my wife isn't actually pregnant?
You might have a little chuckle about it and it might sound bizarre. But hear me out. Up until this 8-week scan the doctor is just taking your wife/partners word that your wife/partner has indeed missed their period, had a positive result on the pregnancy test and the GP has now booked them in for the scan and the ob-gyn appointment.
Now I thought maybe your local GP had another test they do, take some blood samples to confirm the pregnancy. A more thorough, robust, or conclusive test to prove you are indeed pregnant. Something just a level above peeing on a stick. Nah they just take your word for it and book you into the system and away you go. Oh hold on a sec, here's some literature and perhaps take a pregnancy supplement like folic acid or pregnacare.
Maybe it's the world we live in and that there's plenty of nutters walking about. That I just thought, what if someone was just convinced, they were pregnant and strolled into the GPs, told the GP they were pregnant and away they go down the track with the scans and appointments with the ob-gyn. Imagine the person doing the first ultrasound reaction... eh listen love, I can see you're not pregnant at all but I hope the Italian BMT you got in Subway was nice... Please leave my office.
A short while later I got a call from my wife who had just come out from her first scan. She is pregnant, first box ticked. That we're 7 and half weeks along and everything is looking good. The baby is exactly where it should be. My wife did ask if I wanted her to WhatsApp me the photos, but I said I'd wait until she was home and look at them with her.
When my wife got home and showed me the 3 pictures from the ultrasound. I'm not going to lie but I got pretty emotional and there were a few tears shed. I'm going to be a Dad. I'm going to be a fucking Dad. Mind fucking blown. Kaboom!
It's like a mini emotional rollercoaster of happiness, worry, gotta keep my shit together, worry, I think I'm crying... again. Feck sake, where's the Kleenex.
You hear and see stuff on tv or wherever, how it changes your life and all that. At the moment, physically that's not the case, but in your head it certainly fucking does.
You immediately start to think of what you need to have ready for when the baby arrives like, jobs around the house, buying baby clothes, stockpiling nappies etc. Then it moves onto providing for the baby financially and dealing with, which is the reality with a lot of couples, a reduction in income while your wife is on maternity leave for 6 months.
Your head will be spinning and if you planned on doing actual work that day. I'd say forget about it.
The moment you see your baby on an ultrasound, or in my case in a photo, is simply one of those moments in life that will stick with you always. And those worrying thoughts just slip away quietly into the background for now, I'll deal with them in a while. I feel as the weeks go on and we do more scans as the baby gets bigger it will just be as emotional and exciting.
For the time being, between now and the 12-week scan. It's about trying to keep it a secret until then. Not long to go until that point now and we can start telling family & friends. Telling our families is something my wife and I are both hugely excited to do.
I'll keep you posted on it lads and oh, it's a big Fuck No to some elaborate way of announcing it by the way.