The Kicking Life
This baby will come out of the womb kicking!

Everyday my admiration for my wife grows. She's still able to put up with me which is an achievement in itself but also the fact that she is going about her life at the moment with someone constantly kicking her from the inside. It's incredible. And there is nothing she can do about it either.

I was trying to think of how I'd cope with that. How I'd manage someone or something being at me all day and knowing that I could do sweet fuck all to stop it.

Kicking & Sleeping

I love my sleep and I hate being woken from said sleep. My wife and friends will attest to this fact.

And before anyone reminds me again that I better get used to it with a baby on the way, can you please jog on. I know it brings you happiness, knowing someone is going to be in the same situation as you are, functioning on zero sleep & a diet of mainly coffee. And if you don't have kids and you're saying this, you're just a prick.

A well rested prick mind you.

I know I'll have to go through it, I'll be an tired irritable bastard for a while, but there is no way that I'll ever get used to being woken up and being dragged away from that dream of me being a late call up at 34 years of age and kicking the winning drop goal in the Rugby World Cup.

Anyway, the last few nights my sleep, along with my wife's, has been shit. Oh so shit! Last night I woke to a house sound, which is unusual for me, only to find that at 1:30am my wife was wide awake due to the baby kicking, watching 'Jane The Virgin', or some shit on Netflix downstairs. She eventually, after I stumbled down the stairs to her, came back up to bed and tried to get some more sleep.

Now, I'm wide awake and next thing my arm is getting a shellacking from the baby kicking. And somehow while my arm is getting battered and bruised my wife manages to fall back to sleep. How? This kid is kung-fu fighting with your kidneys love and you're out for the count. How?

Is this the baby's way of preparing us for sleepless nights?


I've also noticed the baby's kicking is affecting my wife's speech recently. We'll be having a lovely conversation about something I did or didn't do again. My wife will be delivering her points on the matter only to be interrupted with a "UGH!".

Following this my wife would say "As I was saying" but the baby has other ideas and Karate Kick!... "UGH! YOUR child is kicking again!".

A part of me likes to think that my offspring is looking out for me already. Can feel my wife's annoyance building because I've done something again. My baby can hear it and goes...

"I got you Dad, let me just put my cultured right foot into her kidney there for ya...Whack!... You know what? I'll give her another kick for good measure, might make her need to use the loo again. You deserve a break Dad, throw on the kettle fella good man, I got ya...Whack!".

Who knows I might be right? "Damn, this is a fine cup of tea".


We all have tough days at work. It's a given. But adding a sleepless night and an internal kicking machine into the mix cannot but make a day's work more difficult. My wife's job is a busy one, can have long hours and be physical at times. Being pregnant has not been advantageous in her role.

She's now doing lighter duties, reception work, admin, ordering etc. which don't involve her being on her feet for long periods of time or lifting things. Now, I'm not sure if all her clients knows she's pregnant or not, but if you do call her and she grunts down the phone. Cut her some slack, that's because of the baby, not you.

February is just around the corner

Finally, February is just around the corner and next week my wife will head in for a 32 week scan. She actually has 2 scans next week. One of which is to check to see if the placenta has moved. It was a little low lying in the last scan. Often times it moves and everything will be fine for a vaginal birth. But if it hasn't moved it will be a C-section.

It's not my wife's first choice of how she would like to give birth. But as she's said a few times "It's coming out one way or the other".

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.