Last Sunday, (the 3rd of January), right before we were set to go back to work. My wife got overwhelmed.
My wife is similar to myself at times. Once she or I start thinking about certain things my mind can over think everything and before you know I've every scenario worked out, I'm overwhelmed and I now need to fashion some sort of escape device from a pencil and rubber bands like MacGyver.
But my wife was overwhelmed for genuine reasons. It's just over 12 weeks to the due date. 12 weeks until she has to take everything she's learned from the antenatal classes, pregnancy yoga, reading and an upcoming hypnobirthing class into practice.
No talking about it anymore, it will be time to push a watermelon out.
Why My Wife Got Overwhelmed
We are in the process of trying to change our cars which is a big deal and compound that with Covid and level 5. It doesn't make it any easier. On top of that, we have decorating we want to get done before the baby arrives so we can dedicate our time to looking after the baby, so we don't have to think about, X in the house needs to be done.
My wife is frustrated she can't help, that I'm doing the painting & decorating on my own, as she needs to rest. She's getting pissed off she's tired, pissed off she is sitting down all the time and pissed off not being able to do anything. Other than walking. Even then she can't go for a long walks. Small bit of pelvic girdle pain limits that along with the need to pee all the time.
She comes back from her walk... pissed off!
Then you throw in a fuck load of hormones, a baby that's using your bladder as a football and the fact dawns on you, that you will then have to care for a child for years to come. Well, it's easy to see why you would get overwhelmed.
What I Did To Help...take note, might come in handy
First thing I did lads, and it's dead easy to do.
Even if you don't register a single fucking iota of information of what she's saying. Just let her get it off their chest. Go to your 'Nothing Box' in your head and let her unload.
You know that space in your head I'm on about. You're looking at her. Eyes wide open, head nodding. But inside your brain, behind those eyes, your thinking of sweet fuck all. We all used this trick when we were in school and couldn't go to sleep in some boring class. So, you just space out staring at the wall. Ah happier times thinking of nothing.
Now, I was listening... well for the most part, and when my wife's lips stopped moving I started talking & looking at what positive baby related things we could do today right now.
First off... a Nap! Well to be honest my wife needed after it all.
She was bate.
So, I threw a blanket on her. Closed the door and went upstairs to lash a coat of undercoat on more fucking skirting boards and a door. (Killing two birds with one stone - decorating & comforting wife).
When she woke, I already had the undercoat finished. Fucking timing. Little wins.
So, I handed her a cup of tea and whipped out the laptop. As we all know a cup of Barry's tea solves all of life's problems in Ireland. I then told her we would look at stuff we need to order for the baby's room, the house in general and to just help focus her mind on something positive.
I'm not great at picking out stuff for decorating. To be honest, sometimes it just wrecks my head and also, I've awful taste which doesn't help. I'm more that happy to assemble, put together, decorate and paint a room.
Finally, we just chilled then for the evening as the first day of work in 2021 was on the horizon. Watched some shite on Netflix and spent time together as a couple as the next few weeks are going to be mad.
And before I know it, it won't be just the 2 of us.
It's Fine and Natural to be Overwhelmed.
I can only assume lots of first time parents at some time or another have this feeling. I've had it, my wife's had it and more than likely you have or will.
It's a natural response. You've a baby on the way. It's not like your just going to have to look after it for a few days like your brother's dog. Which you can give back on the Monday after a long weekend.
What's important, regardless of who gets overwhelmed, is to talk about it, get it out of your system, focus on the positives, do something positive and continue to prepare as best you can for the due date and what's to come.
That's what I'm doing. Might be right, might be wrong. I'm no expert, I'm just sharing for anyone who might want to hear it.